before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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