I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
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