PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
