Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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