...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
