What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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