You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
