I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
