Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
