Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I can text with my tongue
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize