Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
