hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
