im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
