i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
