I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The Olympian is in my bed
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
