OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize