I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
