Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
