you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
