Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
