i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
