it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
