wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
