I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
