ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just got carded by a ten year old.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
