This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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