btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
