You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize