At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
