Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
