I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
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