the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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