Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
