I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Pants 0. Shit 1.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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