I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
