so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
