Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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