oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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