and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
