: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
