You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
