I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
