Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
3 2 1 whiskey
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
