Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
