this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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