Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize