i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize