She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
