Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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