Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
