do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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