Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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