i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
i think i just lost a toe
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize