Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize