A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
